Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-Mark Twain
One of the greatest challenges many writers face is discouragement. And some of the most painful discouragement comes in the form of negativity from people when you talk about what you're doing with your writing. Even well-meaning friends and family members can take the wind out of our sails with questions and comments like "Is there really any money in that?" or "So, I went to Barnes and Noble, but they said they didn't have anything by you..."
Maybe you can't (or shouldn't) truly "keep away" from those people. After all, we all have our flaws. But you can try to keep their words away from your mind and heart. Seek out the people -- writers and non-writers -- who are encouraging and supportive. Let their words be the ones that take root within you.
This is a tough one. It's hard to find people (other than other writers, I find) that are really encouraging about it.
ReplyDeleteT. S., sorry to hear that; I've been fortunate to not run into that very much. Most of the people I know are either supportive or at worst disinterested. Though, I do agree that other writers tend to be particularly supportive.
DeleteI'm blessed with some very supportive friends and acquaintances. I try to avoid extreme negativity about me or my ventures (and also extreme positivity). Both can burrow into your heart and paralyze you.
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting point about extreme positivity. Is your thought that it can encourage complacency? Or that you get cognitive dissonance if other people are less extreme in their positivity? Or something else entirely?
DeleteI started to write up my own thoughts about this, but it's getting lengthy, so it's going to by my Monday blog post over on my other blog here shortly...
In my case, it has definitely encouraged complacency. I got stuck for a while not really exploring new writing techniques, not really looking for areas to improve in because of some pretty strong, positive comments (from people I didn't know personally but who found my early work). I thought I was rocking it and just needed to keep at the level I was at. Eventually, I'd 'make it.'
DeleteFast forward seven years, and I've never reached the next level. Lately, I've been getting a lot of really good, constructive feedback (neither extremely negative or positive) and it's helped me deconstruct and rebuild my techniques. I think, slowly, I'm finding success with some new approaches.
If I had stayed focused on the super-positive feedback any longer, I never would have pushed on to the next level.
So, yes, the super-positive makes me complacent. The super-negative makes me overly critical of every move I make. So, I hew toward the middle--enough good stuff to keep me on the path and enough criticism to remind me there are a lot of miles ahead.
Thanks for sharing that. I hadn't really thought about the possible ways that praise might be damaging before. It all makes sense, but the topic seems to have really struck a chord with people. Thanks for helping provide the stimulus for further discussion!
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